Are You Tired, Stressed and in No Mood for Sex?
Apr 09, 2021
I was almost at the point where I would have been ok with giving my husband “a hall pass”… allowing him to go out and get a “temporary” girlfriend. That was how SO incredibly stressed, tired and sleep deprived I was. I had zero interest in sex, even though I loved him and was happy being married. At that point in my life (in my mid 30’s), I felt like I was just not cut out for this. I knew there must have been something really wrong. I had three small children, all under the age of 5 (love them!!), and after they went to bed at 7pm, all I wanted to do was sleep! My husband was understanding. I was not! This wasn’t really something I wanted to talk with my girlfriends about… I really thought I was the only one going through it.
When I paid a visit to my OBGYN, I spilled the beans and begged her to figure out what was wrong with me. She was empathetic, being a mom as well, but her suggestions left me even more frustrated. In addition to suggesting that I take a pill, she encouraged me to buy some sexy lingerie and plan a weekend away to “rekindle the romance”. Seriously? I didn’t like the idea of a pill (I knew they caused other problems) and the last thing I wanted to wear was something that showed more of my body. I could barely get into my “fat jeans” and I just wanted to sleep!
It’s a horrible (but real) statistic: 57% of women prefer Facebook over sex! Overall, we (ladies) are just too tired, stressed, and in no mood for sex! I was one of them… Are you? If you are, you are not the only one and don’t have to feel this way. I’m here to let you in on the secret of what may be causing these issues (it’s not what you think!) and to give you natural ways to kick your libido back in gear. I’m here for you… I’ve been there!
HOW HORMONES AFFECT YOUR SEX DRIVE
If you’re thinking that your tanked libido is your fault; if you’re thinking that it’s due to having too much work, too little time, chasing after the kids, getting older, or just simply “one of those things” – STOP. It’s absolutely not your fault and those probably aren’t the main reasons. So, WHY are you never in the mood for sex anymore? One word: HORMONES.
Did you know that about 70% of low sex drive may be due to your hormones being out of whack? Hormones can be pesky little things that cause low sex drive, poor energy, lousy sleep, skin problems, bloating, and more, when they’re improperly balanced. And contrary to popular belief, hormonal problems don’t always start during or near menopause; your hormones can start to change and cause issues in your 20’s.
So, do you want to know which hormones are going haywire to create your lack of sex drive? Let’s start by taking a look at the most likely root causes of a decreased libido.
ROOT CAUSES OF A DECREASED LIBIDO
So Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone are hormones that affect a woman’s sexual desire and functioning. Unbalanced levels of these hormones can be a primary cause of female sexual dysfunction. Other, equally important hormones, can also contribute to the chaos…
Here’s how the story might go… You’re an extremely busy woman, trying to “do it all”. Maybe you have a demanding career, and/or you have kids, perhaps you have a significant other and maybe you have all of those. Plus a thousand other challenging things on your plate… which can cause some overwhelm. Enter your hormones.
Cortisol – the stress hormone, is typically the first hormone to become out of whack (hello busy woman!) and can become the cause of most, if not all, other hormone imbalances. One of the earliest signs of unbalanced cortisol can be lower sexual desire. The reasons cortisol becomes unbalanced vary from person to person, but if you’re feeling any of the following, you should definitely be checked:
- wired but tired (get that “second wind” at 10pm)
- feeling overwhelmed & burned out most of the time
- insane sugar/carb cravings
- trouble falling or staying asleep
- increased belly fat (hello muffin-top)
- unstable blood sugar (do you get “hangry”)
- skin conditions, such as eczema.
Estrogen – is the primary female hormone, and it helps keep your periods regular, controls the development of female sex organs, and thickens the lining of the uterus to support pregnancy. As a woman approaches menopause — the period of time known as perimenopause, levels of estrogen begin to decrease dramatically. When estrogen is balanced, your skin is unblemished and your moods are pretty even. When it’s not, estrogen can have a big negative impact on your sex drive and you may experience some or all of the following:
- bloating
- weight gain that comes on fast and furious
- periods that are off (super heavy, unusually light, or non-existent)
- tender/sore breasts
- unstable mood & sleep patterns
- migraines
- rosacea
- vaginal dryness that leads to painful intercourse
Thyroid – The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland in your neck that controls the way every single cell in your body uses energy. It’s the gland in your neck that regulates triiodothyronine (T3) and thyroxine (T4), the hormones which regulate your metabolism. What is the connection between your thyroid and your libido? How can this part of your body can have such an impact on your sex drive? Some thyroid disorders cause everything in your body to slow down. Your metabolism slows, your energy feels depleted and it can also slow down the production of the “libido boosting hormones” in your sex organs. It can actually slow things down to the point where production becomes impossible, so you’re left feeling ‘meh’ and uninspired in the bedroom.
Sexual desire and function can take a hit when you have thyroid problems, such as hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism. Studies show that even slightly reduced thyroid levels, even the levels considered to be within the “normal” range can dramatically decrease libido in women as well as causing fatigue, weight gain and depression. Thyroid problems can lower vaginal lubrication, which makes sex uncomfortable, painful or unsatisfying.
signs of hyperthyroidism (too high) include
- anxiety
- irritability
- sweating
- hand tremors
- hair loss
- light or missed periods
signs of hypothyroidism (too low) include:
- trouble sleeping
- fatigue
- trouble concentrating
- dry skin & hair
- easily get cold
- frequent, heavy periods
- joint & muscle pain
Testosterone – which is usually thought of as a male hormone, is also made by, and is very important to women. The ovaries produce testosterone, which the body uses to help make estrogen. Low testosterone levels may be a cause of the reduction of arousal and sexual response that often occurs in women. When it comes to sexual desire, this is the most influential hormone in the body. One of the most common reasons for low testosterone is taking the birth control pill (even coming off the pill, problems could take up to a year to resolve). Symptoms of testosterone imbalance include:
- low libido
- difficulty with arousal
- acne
- facial hair
- skin tags
- anxiety/depression
- fatigue
- irregular periods
- infertility
If you’re experiencing any of the symptoms listed and suspect you may have a hormone imbalance, I’m here to help! And I want to assure you… your sex life isn’t over. And please don’t let anyone tell you that this is all happening “just because you’re getting older” and to “accept it”. A tanking libido is not normal, and there is something you can do about it! In the meantime, I’m bringing you a few all-natural ways to increase your sex drive so you can hop back in the driver’s seat of your life and enjoy yourself fully.
AND NOW, SOME GOOD NEWS!
There are a lot of natural remedies to increase libido, and you can start increasing your sex drive naturally today! I know you may be thinking that you’ve searched already and there is a ton of information out there that promises to boost your sex drive if you just “drink this!” or “try that!”, etc. but it’s often not based on scientific research. What I’m about to share with you is, plus it has been proven safe and effective for many women.
- Eat Collagen-rich foods: As the body ages, collagen production naturally declines. This can negatively affect the health of your skin and make it harder to keep your skin firm. This may also lead to a looser vaginal wall in women. To increase your collagen levels, you can try including bone broth in your diet and perhaps try a collagen supplement and/or a protein powder made from bone broth.
- Take an adaptogen. Adding an adaptogen, such as ginseng, rhodiola, ashwagandha, etc. can benefit you if your cortisol is out of whack. Adaptogens tweak hormone production and physiological responses to stress to ensure that your body functions as it should. My favorite adaptogen blend is called ACTS.
- Add maca to your protein shake/smoothie. Popular in traditional medicine practices as a sexual stimulant, taking in maca results in both increased sexual desire and decreased sexual dysfunction. Maca is known as a libido-boosting herb and studies have shown that it raises sex drive in women. An added benefit is that it can also reduce anxiety and depression. A little goes a long way with this one!
- Get your Vitamin C. Vitamin C can be helpful in increasing collagen production in the body. Vitamin C improves blood circulation to the body’s organs, and it helps regulates the reproductive hormones. Fill up on broccoli, oranges, red peppers, and guava!
- Try Supplementation — Don’t forget to ask your doctor before taking anything.
- Panax Ginseng (1,000 milligrams once daily): This amount and duration of Panax ginseng (Asian ginseng) has been shown to increase sexual desire in women going through menopause.
- Iron (25–30 milligrams daily): If you have iron deficiency (anemia), then supplementing with iron might help your libido. Look for iron chelate, which is generally well-absorbed, and take it with a vitamin C source. Iron supplements can cause constipation — therefore, it’s important to confirm that your anemia is being caused by iron deficiency.
- Ashwagandha (500 milligrams once or twice daily): Using ashwagandha in supplement form may help women address high stress levels that are causing low libido.
- Ginkgo biloba (200 milligrams daily): Ginkgo biloba can be particularly effective at treating antidepressant-induced sexual dysfunction in women.
- Use Essential Oils There are a variety of essential oils that may help to increase sexual and mood arousal and act as natural aphrodisiacs. Your best bet is to grab a diffuser and start with some aromatherapy.
- Jasmine essential oil can be used as part of a libido-boosting blend and may help to increase arousal, alertness and positive mood.
- If you’re a woman on a mission to create a more healthy libido, clary sage essential oil can be a great option. It can help with depression and regulating cortisol levels as well.
- Neroli essential oil can help relieve menopausal symptoms, increase sexual desire, and reduce blood pressure in postmenopausal women. Neroli oil can also help to reduce stress and improve the overall endocrine system.
MAKE YOUR GAME PLAN
Keeping your sexual health a priority is so important for your overall wellbeing. Now that you know the potential reasons you’re so tired, stressed, and in no mood for sex, it’s time to decide what you’re going to do about it! Will you try out the tips above? Or will you schedule your FREE phone consultation with me so we can get you started on a hormone assessment?
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